Resolutions

29 Dec

Last night we saw the film This is 40.  It was funny, although a bit long and silly in certain parts.  I’ll see anything with Paul Rudd because he is hilarious and tends to be in decent films.  We went to a local cinema that serves drinks and dinner- a great idea but the food is actually pretty bad and overpriced.  I love the novelty of drinking wine while at the cinema and the ease of not worrying about what to make or where to go for dinner.  But it ends up being a pretty expensive and unsatisfying meal.  So I told my husband this morning that we should just not go there anymore and just head to a regular theater instead, and perhaps have dinner beforehand.  He agreed.

Mr Rudd- so funny! My friend got his autograph in a bar in Athens, Georgia years ago.

This reminds me of part of the movie.  The neurotic wife (played by Leslie Mann) decided to quickly implement some major life changes, with the expectation that it would make everyone happy.  She told her husband (played by Mr. Rudd) that she’d stop smoking, that he had to stop eating cupcakes (for some reason they had cupcakes in their house every day).  Anyway, she decided that they would exercise daily, eliminate all sugar and gluten from their diet, etc.  She also proclaimed that the entire family would reduce the amount of time spend on various electronic devices, much to the chagrin of their teenaged daughter who was obsessively watching all the episodes of Lost (been there, done that, yeah, the ending sucked).

Image

Vincent was my favorite.

Anyway, not to spoil the movie but it didn’t go very well.  The changes didn’t stick and hilarity ensued.  So most of us know- deciding to make sudden and drastic changes, no matter how helpful they can be, just doesn’t really work.  I admit that I’ve set such lofty goals on about 1,000,000 occasions.  Sometimes I am successful, but really looking back, I see clear evidence that for change to be lasting, I have to be bought in, disciplined and it has to happen gradually.  Also, I do not do well with a mindset that feels punitive and punishing, which these fasts, diets and life-changing plans often are.  Instead, I prefer it when the focus on what is helpful and beneficial.  This is also an approach that I promote to my therapy clients.  Be nice to yourself, don’t punish yourself, and the results will tend to be better.

So I’m going to be rolling out a pretty big project for myself for 2013 that is along these lines.  Without the daily structure of a 9-5 job (or, realistically, an 8-6 job) I can be listless and well, lazy.  I yearn for more of a schedule but struggle to stick to one.  I fall behind on things I really need to do and then wonder what the heck I’ve done with my days.  Then I worry about things at 3 am.  Keep in mind I’m not sitting at home doing nothing, I have a business to maintain, and also to build and nurture.  This is exciting, but I am now the boss who sets deadlines and ensures that things happen.   This is not the easiest role for me.

I’ve researched, pondered and had a lot of failed attempts to increase self-discipline and to focus more on things that are healthy and edifying.  When I have been successful in the past, I’ve been overly disciplined, to the point of being rigid.  I’m sure there is a balance to be found and I’m excited to find it.  I’ll take some cues from this movie about what NOT to do also.  And, I’m not going to require that my husband take part on all of the changes I do- this is something I’m doing for myself.

Anyway, stay tuned.  All this is starting with 2013, and I’ve spent all of December gearing up. I’m excited, but nervous!

Do you have any resolutions for the new year?

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